I often get asked if I’ve ever brewed before. I live in a loft with an open floor plan, so I don’t really have the space to brew at home. However, I did attempt to home brew–once.

In December 2011, while visiting a friend in Texas, I had the pleasure of helping an experienced home brewer with a batch of Rye Milk IPA. This individual had asked for my input in advance as far as what type of beer I’d like to brew. And since I love IPAs, we decided to try this, as it seemed unique. The process was fun, and it was a great day.

I asked to be kept in the loop; I wanted updates (e-mails, texts, whatever) on when things were happening–the steps I could not be there to do because I had to get back to Colorado. And then the beer was to be shipped to me once it was ready. I was so excited! I could not wait to taste the first beer I ever brewed!

Months passed without a word. Was the beer done? What the hell was going on with it? I contacted my “friend” multiple times to inquire. What’s that? It’s done? OK…I never received a single update on what all happened after I left that day, which was disappointing, but whatever–the most important thing was that I would finally get to drink that beer. You are sending me the beer, right? OK. Months pass. You’re sending me the beer, right? Remind you on Monday? OK. Monday’s here: beer please? Um, how about if I send you money for shipping? Oh, it’s not the money. OK. Um, how about if I send you a package in return, just to say thanks? Hello???  Where’s my beer???

Like I said, the beer was brewed in December 2011. When I left Austin that day, that was the last I’d ever see of my Rye Milk IPA. And of my “friend.” Bottom line: if you’re going to home brew, leave the flakes out of it.

Here’s me, breaking the yeast packet that day. It’s pretty much all I’ve got.